Let's take a look at the 2012 Frost Christmas tree and evaluate its overall appearance together with some selected ornaments.
Shape: even; color: foresty; smell: sprucy; needles: pointy. Well done, mom!
Grade: 5 out of 5 Yule goats
I'm sure this bird is supposed to symbolize peace and love for all mankind, but positioned at the top of the tree with wings aggressively raised for impending attack the message it conveys is something quite different. Duck and cover!
Grade: 4 out of 5 launche missiles
Being environmentally aware (or just plain cheap) we have re-used our garlands over and over for years, but this time I got sick of trying to straighten out the silvery mess yet again. So I simply got a pair of scissors, cut the tinsel into smaller pieces, balled them up and randomly placed them throughout the branches. Next year, I'll probably just spray paint a dozen sea urchins with silver and spread them across the tree; the effect would be exactly the same.
Grade: 2 out of 5 echinoderms
Angel of vengeance
My aunt's favorite: a sombre looking Princess Leia wannabe with ginormous feet waiving a bloody sword (or is it a red lightsaber?). This one always gets a highlighted position, for fear of aggravating it.
Grade: 4 out of 5 fallen angels
Ah! Imagine the merry melodies this adorable bonnet-clad cherub composes on its grand piano, softly caressing the keys and FOR CRYING OUT LOUD WON'T SOMEBODY GIVE THIS GUY A PAIR OF PANTS!?
Grade: 3 out of 5 Donald Ducks
That's all, folks! See you next year.